27 March 2011

It is my fault.

Dah seminggu berlalu.. tapi agak sukar utk melepaskanya.. This is what happens when I’m not the one who makes the 1st move. When things go wrongs, i will lose myself. ~ yes i know, it’s my fault. This attitude of mine is really sucks. I’m trying to curb this problem and my other negative attitude too ... tapi..bila terlepas prangai jahanam ni..sesunguh nya ia buat ak semak sgt2..

Menyesal nya wey! Ak nyesal yg amat dowh! dah elok2 ak tutup kes tu.. gatal buka kn.. padan muka ak la kn..ak tau salah ak... ak xtau mcm ne lg nk ilang kn rs marah,bsalah, ralat,sebak dan kecewa dgn diri sendiri ni.. dan utk menambah kn lagi rasa xboleh blah ni.. ak terlupa 1 benda penting.. Diakn sakit! Boleh x.. ak lupa bde tu? Xpatut sgt kn ak buat dia mcm tu... ak xsengaja.. bersalah nya ak rasa smpai skg.. kesian kat dia..


Ap sal la ak xtunggu dia angkat fon bila ak tefon sblm ak kua pg tu? Ak ptt call byk kali kn..? ap sal la ngelabah sgt ak nk jmpa dia.. kalu ak bsabar sikit pagi tu.. mst bde ni xjadi..

Nak defend diri pun mcm xkena gaya je... ak nk ckp pe utk defend diri ak? Yg ak g gatal ckp “ ok “ at the 1st place sape soh? ... terang lagi tersuluh salah ak kat sini..

Camner ni..? cube cter.. sgt xbest ye perasaan ni... the guilty is killing me!!! Gosh!

Ak xtau apa.. tapi..dalam ramai2 tu, ak tertarik dgn dia..ak sgt suka dia dgn gulahati dia tu..seswai sgt.. like.. Match by heaven gituuuw.. ak doa kn dia sentiasa bahgia dan sihat.

Dear You,

“my offer is still valid, i assure you, it won’t have expiry date. u can exercise it whenever u want”

I need a small favour from you: Please don’t find me, for whatever reasons. U didn’t owe me anything.

Pls don’t get me wrong here, i am x blaming u, hell no! i’m x creating a drama or movie or play here, i just know ur intention after Drak told me.( i still feel guilty about it).. thank you for ur concern., i will be fine.. InsyaAllah~

Basically, it’s all my fault.. i can’t resist myself when it comes to u..yup, it’s true.. U got my attention.. sy xnk bde ni berulang lagi..Jd, sy skg ni berusaha bersunguh2 utk menjauhkn diri dari awk. Sy hrp awk myokong usaha baik sy ni.. sy xleh la dgn awk.. Awk buat sy panik,. Bila sy panik,sy akn mula ckp bde yg sepatut nya utk org lain.. Dan sy xnk luka kn hati sesape..terutama awak.. sy penat bde jd mcm ni... which obviously comes from me, the chaos of cause.. . thus, to avoid this from happen again, sy harap awak dan gulahati awak menyokong usaha sy ni.. sy xmampu buat sensorang bde ni..sbb sy manusia biasa yg xlepas dari melakukan kesilapan..

Konklusinya.. yg penting sy nk awk tau, awk xpyh rasa bersalah atau pe dgn sy, awk xde dosa pun dgn sy. Sy sentiasa nak awk dan gulahati awk bahagia. I need time to forgive myself.. Zillion apologize for what i have done to u and ur family.. i do regret it.. please take a good care of ur self..

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